When a statistic becomes reality
I've always believed in vaccines. Among parents these days, vaccines can be a hot topic, one some people have strong pro- or anti- sentiments about. Though I don't go around handing out pro-vaccine flyers on the street or anything, I've always been firmly in the yes-to-vaccines side of the fence.
My feelings could pretty much be summed up as follows:
And then two days ago my daughter woke up with a huge, angry, itchy red rash that was so sensitive to the touch that she sobbed and screamed for 15 minutes after I rubbed anti-itch cream on it. And we went to the doctor, and the doctor said it was shingles.
"Shingles? In a 6-year-old? But I thought you could only get that if you've had chicken pox," I said.
"Well, she's had the chicken pox vaccine. That can cause it too," the doctor told me.
And there it is. My daughter now has a painful, possibly recurring condition, which she would not have had if I hadn't gotten her immunized. And I can't help but feel some guilt. I have friends--informed, intelligent friends who are not nut jobs--who don't ban all vaccines for their kids, but who request some vaccines and not others, or who immunize on a delayed schedule. What if I had been that kind of mom? What if I had not just accepted whatever my doctor told me was best?
Now, when you step back and look at it logically, the facts are these: anyone who has ever had chicken pox (or the chicken pox vaccine) now has the varicella virus in their system, which means that practically every person in the United States could theoretically develop shingles at some point in their lifetime. If my daughter grew up 30 years ago, like I did, she would most likely have gotten chicken pox, endured a week or more of intense itching and possible complications from the disease, and then still been at risk for shingles later in life. So either way, she still could have gotten shingles. And the rates of shingles-from-vaccine are lower than shingles-from-disease.
But, the truth is, chicken pox is rarer these days. Maybe she would not ever have been exposed to it. And gone through life varicella-free. Maybe she didn't really have to have it.
(That's one of the reasons, frankly, that I've always been so turned off by people who choose not to vaccinate--they are benefiting from the "herd immunity" that we enjoy in this country because of all those parents who do immunize, who do choose to put their children at some slight risk, because they believe the benefits outweigh the risks. The small number of non-vaccinated kids don't get horrible diseases like polio, because the larger number do choose to immunize, and the disease has been almost eradicated.)
The experts say that shingles after the vaccine occurs in 2.6 per 100,000 doses. That's a tiny number. That's .000026 percent. It's a very, very low risk. If I had to go back and do it over, even if I *had* actually read the vaccine information sheet and seen that statistic, chances are I still would have made the same choice as I did before. For all those good, logical reasons.
But. Logical reasons don't make me feel better when I watch my daughter hobble around the house because her leg hurts so bad she doesn't want to put any weight on it. She's hurting, and it's because of something I allowed her to be injected with. And as a parent, watching that, it makes me hurt.
It's harder to stand by your convictions when your child is part of the .000026 percent.
My feelings could pretty much be summed up as follows:
- Vaccines are a huge advancement in modern medicine.
- Vaccines carry very small risks compared to the diseases they prevent.
- The American Academy of Pediatrics is a reputable organization whose members know way more about medicine than I do, and I'm going to follow their recommendations instead of something I read on the Internet.
- And also, though I wouldn't have ever said this to anyone's face, I privately thought that anyone who doesn't believe in vaccines is probably nutso.
And then two days ago my daughter woke up with a huge, angry, itchy red rash that was so sensitive to the touch that she sobbed and screamed for 15 minutes after I rubbed anti-itch cream on it. And we went to the doctor, and the doctor said it was shingles.
"Shingles? In a 6-year-old? But I thought you could only get that if you've had chicken pox," I said.
"Well, she's had the chicken pox vaccine. That can cause it too," the doctor told me.
And there it is. My daughter now has a painful, possibly recurring condition, which she would not have had if I hadn't gotten her immunized. And I can't help but feel some guilt. I have friends--informed, intelligent friends who are not nut jobs--who don't ban all vaccines for their kids, but who request some vaccines and not others, or who immunize on a delayed schedule. What if I had been that kind of mom? What if I had not just accepted whatever my doctor told me was best?
Now, when you step back and look at it logically, the facts are these: anyone who has ever had chicken pox (or the chicken pox vaccine) now has the varicella virus in their system, which means that practically every person in the United States could theoretically develop shingles at some point in their lifetime. If my daughter grew up 30 years ago, like I did, she would most likely have gotten chicken pox, endured a week or more of intense itching and possible complications from the disease, and then still been at risk for shingles later in life. So either way, she still could have gotten shingles. And the rates of shingles-from-vaccine are lower than shingles-from-disease.
But, the truth is, chicken pox is rarer these days. Maybe she would not ever have been exposed to it. And gone through life varicella-free. Maybe she didn't really have to have it.
(That's one of the reasons, frankly, that I've always been so turned off by people who choose not to vaccinate--they are benefiting from the "herd immunity" that we enjoy in this country because of all those parents who do immunize, who do choose to put their children at some slight risk, because they believe the benefits outweigh the risks. The small number of non-vaccinated kids don't get horrible diseases like polio, because the larger number do choose to immunize, and the disease has been almost eradicated.)
The experts say that shingles after the vaccine occurs in 2.6 per 100,000 doses. That's a tiny number. That's .000026 percent. It's a very, very low risk. If I had to go back and do it over, even if I *had* actually read the vaccine information sheet and seen that statistic, chances are I still would have made the same choice as I did before. For all those good, logical reasons.
But. Logical reasons don't make me feel better when I watch my daughter hobble around the house because her leg hurts so bad she doesn't want to put any weight on it. She's hurting, and it's because of something I allowed her to be injected with. And as a parent, watching that, it makes me hurt.
It's harder to stand by your convictions when your child is part of the .000026 percent.
7 comments:
Jen, I am so sorry. Sometimes being a parent is rough. You made the best choice with the information you had and that is all you can do. You are a wonderful, involved, loving mother. Now you get to love your girl through this and we will pray it clears up soon.
I am so sorry she has shingles. I hope it clears up quickly and doesn't return. I am with you on vaccines. I also feel the same about those who don't vaccinate. I don't read those sheets anymore either, I think I probably should though.
I totally agree. If you didn't get the vaccines, you are just benefiting from everyone else being vaccinated. Chicken pox is only rare now because of vaccinations! Really sad for your sweetie, though! I hope she gets better soon without too much more pain.
Go vaccines. That said, I would feel bad if I were in your shoes, but I am glad you did it anyway. I watched this special on vaccines and the part that really irritated me was how close we are to irradiating several childhood diseases and we could actually then stop giving those vaccines, but there are too many families out there refusing to vaccinate based out of fear and thinking they won't get it because so many others do it etc. Also, if you aren't vaccinated and don't get something you can still be a carrier and pass it to a newborn who is too young to get the shots yet....this has happened and a child in PDX almost died from this very described situation.
Hm, this made me realize something I had not thought of before. I have a natural immunity to chicken pox that is inherited from my father. I'm wondering if I have passed this on to any of my kids and unnecessarily vaccinated them? Thank you for the post that raised this question for me.
Ok Jen..first of all I have to say that I hope she is doing well by now. Then I will go in to my next comment. I truly understand the vaccination thing...And I was the mom behind the injections are wonderful line....When Gaven was small I got all of his injections, and as you know he has autism. There is all sorts of controversy around the do not get injections, do get injections theory for children who are indeed autistic. I DON'T believe that all children who have their immunizations run a chance of becoming autistic. What I do know is...each year that Gaven needed his boosters, or a new shot came out and he took it...I SUSPECTED...It was the reason for his sudden behavior, memory , balance, speech, and sleep issues.
SO I went through time...Then it was time once again for Gaven to have a booster shot and new type of immunization...I discussed my worries with his doctor, who assured me that he feels it is not a contributor to Gavens autism..but he wanted a follow up at 2,3,4,and 5 days later to see... so we gave him his recommended shots and followed up. What we did see ..was a definite decline in all areas.....and within 2 weeks....He was back in Physical therapy..he couldn't walk a straight line, his speech was slurred and not too understandable, he would sleep only 3 hours a night, he cried and whined more often, and would have incredible melt downs ...triggered by small things..like a spoon that had dropped to the ground. TODAY..Gaven is not up to date..I PRAY the shots he had will sustain him..I still get scared when I hear a disease is going around...like Whooping cough... But the negatives...far out weigh the positives in his situation. And I respect and do not condemn any parent...I believe it is a matter of choice....And that each decision is made out of love and concern for their children.
Thanks, all, for the encouragement, and for the honest perspective from a parent of a child with autism. Beth is doing much better now, and I'm thankful it wasn't worse. I still believe in vaccinations, but I'm sad we had to go through this experience and crossing my fingers that the shingles does not become a recurring problem.
Post a Comment